Your Gender Presentation Belongs to You

If you’re a gender non-conforming person or a transgender person, it can be tiring and discouraging to live in a world where there is pressure coming from all sides to present, or not present, yourself a certain way. Those outside voices can be difficult to ignore, especially when they are louder than your inner voice telling you what you want. 

I’m here to remind you that when other people take issue with how you identify or present yourself, that’s their issue. You’re not doing anything wrong by being yourself. These people may try to phrase it as “you are doing something wrong” or “you should change,” but it’s their issue.

This pushback against you normally comes from their own discomfort at their deep-seated beliefs about gender being challenged. They have ascribed a certain amount of social privilege and power to the gender binary. So when they come across a gender non-conforming or transgender person, it shakes those core beliefs and the power they’ve given them. If they don’t want to confront or take responsibility for their discomfort, that’s their baggage. Don’t pick it up for them, and don’t make it yours to carry. 

You are allowed to seek your truth. Your gender journey belongs to you alone, no matter how you choose to present yourself at any given moment. When you look inside yourself, you’ll find the source of your truth. Look inward for that feeling of peace and joy that comes from presenting your gender as whatever feels authentic to you. Hold on to your happiness, and they can hold onto their baggage. 

Continue to be you as much as you can while also keeping at least one eye on your safety. Unfortunately we live in a world that doesn’t always care for our best interests. Never feel shame or guilt for having to change something for the sake of protection. It’s okay, and I encourage you to prioritize safety and take the necessary steps to ensure it. 

Whether you are out or have to remain in the closet, you are worthy of love and respect and deserve to find the gender expression that feels most like you. Finding other gender non-conforming or transgender folks and building community can ease some of those outside pressures that get thrown your way. Continue embracing who you are and who you want to be in whatever capacity you can.