How to Make Resolutions from a Place of Self-Love
Every January starts with folks creating resolutions for the upcoming year. Many popular resolutions are related to our health or changing something that we don’t like about ourselves. Change is not inherently a bad thing to want; we will change as time passes, whether we plan for it or not. However, it is important to look at the intent of why we want to change and why we are making these goals and choices.
I’m going to let you in on a secret: goals made from a place of self-disapproval are rarely sustainable. We cannot hate ourselves into a version that we love.
What does this mean for our New Year’s Resolutions? It means that we have to make our goals and resolutions from a place of radical self-love. I know that this year is particularly hard. Not only are we faced with the normal message from our culture, which thrives on the idea that there is something wrong with us that needs fixing, but there is also a lot of fear and uncertainty about these next four years.
Our self-love and our perseverance to continue to live are more important than ever. Living under capitalism means that we are constantly bombarded with the message that “If you use this product, then you will be happy,” or “With this new coat, you’ll look and feel great.” We may see a push to look or act a certain way. While material items can help us express ourselves in a way that aligns with our inner truth and can influence how we feel about ourselves, it doesn’t make us love ourselves.
Making resolutions from a place of radical self-love starts with actually loving ourselves. If you struggle with this, repeat these affirmations: I am perfect and worthy of love right now. I am allowed to grow and change. Both statements can be true at the same time.
It is our thoughts that create our emotions, not our actions.
With that in mind, here are things to ask yourself while making resolutions this year.
Are you making this decision for yourself, or how you want someone else to see you?
Are you making this decision because you believe that something is wrong with you?
What is your intention behind this goal?
Are you making this resolution based on a future feeling of happiness rather than focusing on being happy now?
These might be difficult to answer and cause you some discomfort, but they are important to reflect on to make sure you are making resolutions from a place of self-love. You are worthy of love as you are. You are enough right now. Now, read that again.
When you make resolutions for yourself that will grow your self-love, it is easier to maintain them. You can build sustainable routines that don’t lead to burnout or stretches of beating yourself up. This is true regardless of whether your resolution is health-based, career-based, financially-based, or something else.
Radical self-love is a long journey that comes with unpacking trauma and rejecting the social messaging that many of us have been taught. Remember, you have everything you need to love yourself right now. If you need further support or guidance to help on your self-love journey, reach out to me. If you are in Georgia, South Carolina, or Florida, I offer individual therapy services. If you aren’t in those states, I offer coaching services as well.
Cheers to the new year. Wishing you a 2025 full of healing, growth, and joy.