About Me

Welcome

Hi, I’m Sander.


I didn’t begin my career as a mental health professional until my mid-40s. Before that, I lived a lot of life: different professions, different identities, different chapters. I come to this work not just with training, but with lived experience.


I grew up with my own history of complex PTSD shaped by significant interpersonal trauma. I’ve done time in the military. I spent much of my life identifying as a masculine-presenting lesbian before transitioning about eight years ago to a non-binary/transmasculine identity. Long before I ever sat in the therapist’s chair, I spent years on the other side of it, doing my own healing work.


That experience means I don’t approach healing as an abstract concept. I understand what it’s like to be in the dark parts of the process, and what it takes to move through them.


I’ve also been practicing polyamory for over 16 years and live in a full, unconventional, and deeply meaningful household with my wife, my partner, my partner’s wife, two of our octogenarian mothers, and two very loved small dogs. My life, like my work, is rooted in relationships, complexity, and intentional care.


In the therapy room, I’m engaged, direct, and collaborative. I’m also pretty laid-back. I use humor when it fits, because sometimes laughter is part of how we survive and how we heal. I’m not a “nod and smile” therapist. I’m actively involved in helping you understand what’s happening in your life and move toward meaningful change.


Outside of work, you’ll find me gardening, building things, being anywhere near, on, or in water, traveling, teaching, speaking, and showing up in kink and leather spaces because they are important parts of my community and identity.


I’m also probably a little ADHD (unofficially), which means my office may have a few too many sticky notes, a bit of clutter, some very happy plants, and a genuinely comfortable place to sit and be human.

Affirming Therapy

Support for individuals and relationships seeking clarity and growth.

Purposeful Speaking

Thoughtful keynotes and trainings that inspire understanding.

A Personal Path to Healing Work

Sander’s journey into this work began with their own experience of healing from complex trauma over the course of more than 25 years.

Through that process, they developed a deep understanding of the emotional, psychological, and relational challenges many people face when trying to make sense of painful experiences and reconnect with themselves and others.

This personal journey eventually led Sander back to school to train as a clinical social worker. Over time, their work expanded beyond therapy into writing, education, and public speaking focused on trauma awareness and cultural understanding.

Supporting Authentic Relationships

At the center of Sander’s work is the belief that meaningful relationships require vulnerability, emotional honesty, and psychological safety.


Many people struggle with these elements because trauma makes it difficult to tolerate the emotional exposure that intimacy requires.


Sander helps individuals and partners develop the emotional resilience needed to engage in deeper connection while also learning how to create safe relational spaces that support that level of intimacy.

Beyond Therapy

In addition to clinical work, Sander is expanding their role as an author, educator, and public speaker.


Their goal is to bring trauma awareness, emotional clarity, and cultural honesty into public life so individuals and organizations can build more compassionate and ethically grounded communities.


Through books, speaking engagements, and educational programs, Sander continues to explore the intersection of psychology, relationships, and social systems.

GET CULTIVATING CONNECTION

A practical guide for personal and relationship growth in ethical non-monogamy.

eBook

$8.49

Paperback

$21.99

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Whether you are seeking therapy, coaching, professional supervision, or a speaker for your organization, Sander offers thoughtful, trauma-informed guidance grounded in compassion and psychological insight.

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